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View Full Version : A problem of mine that I want to go.



anything spicy
21.07.2006, 14:48
You know in school, you get new people, sometimes they're nice, sometimes they're not. There is this certain new person in my school who is one of those not nice people. Ever since she walked into our tutor room shes been being horrible to me and extra nice to by best friend. She tells me how bad my handwriting is, critisises my looks (e.g-she said my nose was 'like this' and pushed the tip of her nose back with her finger), all ways makes sure shes my best friends partner in lessons and generally being horrible to me.
In games (P.E) we had to pass wet sponges to each other and the people at the end of the que have to squeeze the wet sponge in a bucket to get the water out. The team with the most water in the bucket wins. This person chucked the sponge at me over and over again untill my top was see-through. Then she tipped the entire contents of her (large and boiling) water bottle down my back, leaving me soaked, she then walked of with my best friend and smiled smugly at me.
Today she told me how she and my best friend were bestest best friends and I was just this little nobody who followed her everywhere. So I told her to go away, and she shoved me into a wall, so I shoved her back, then she shoved me again and this time I bumped ito my best friend and she said I did it, causing my friend to walk of in a huff. So she punched me, then I hit her with my bag.
As I was having a picnic with my next best friend, the new girls sister walked up to us and said do you know anyone called Katy? She slaped my sister and swore at her and hit her over and over again. I was thinking hang on? I didn't do that! she must of exagerated to her sister!. Then she said, she is small with blonde hair. Then I was thinking, Im not small with blonde hair! I've got brown hair! Then she said, If you see her, tell her I'm going to duff her up. With that she left.
Please give some advice. i dont want my friend to be turned against me, and I dont want to be dog meat either. Please give some advice. I'm going to need it!

windrose
21.07.2006, 16:05
If you have not told your parents about it then do so. Tell them everything that she's been doing to you -- including trying to get her older sister to beat you up. Together you can decide whether this needs to be reported to the school authorities.

This won't make the bullying magically stop. That will likely continue until she really gets in trouble for it. What it will do is cover your behind to lessen any possible punishment that might be given out for the altercations.

Albus
21.07.2006, 16:14
<Cringes> A school bully with the older sibling who is ready to look after them… Well the first thing to be aware of is that, like all bullies, she’s trying to make you look small and useless to make herself look bigger and better. She’s after your reaction. She wants you to fight back. In truth, she has her own problems, maybe at home. Or it is possible, as crazy as it sounds, that she is jealous of you for some reason. Now I know this is going to be hard, especially since she’s pulling your closest friend away, but the best thing is to just ignore her. If you react to her intimidations, you are feeding her need to feel bigger, and she will do it even more. At the moment, it will look as if she is winning either way, but, in most cases, if the bully doesn’t get that “feel good” factor out of it, they stop.

Another thing that you could do, is talk to a teacher you like and trust. I know. No one likes to even think it at the fear it will make it worse. But, talking from personal experience, it does work. Once the teacher has been told, they will take appropriate action to try and deal with it. Don’t be afraid to talk to your teachers about your problems. It is, after all, what they are there for. They are responsible for the wellbeing of all pupils within their school.

Now, if you are actually beaten up, you should go directly to the senor stuff (deputy head teacher, head teacher etc). Tell them everything, truthfully how it is, and what happened. They have the power to talk to the parents/guardians of the people in question, and punish them in the appropriate manner.

I know it will be hard to let go of your friend, but they have made their choice for now. Let them go on being with this person, and let them realise how wrong the person is to hang out with. In time, your friend will most likely return to you, saying something to the effect that they have really missed you. It will seem like an entirety before they do.

But what ever you decide, don’t give the bully the satisfaction that she is getting to you. Ignoring her will soon get her bored of picking on you.

I hope this helps you. Good luck.

anything spicy
21.07.2006, 16:17
I have told my mum and dad, and to cut a long story short-they aren't sympathetic. they told me people can have other best friends too, but I tried to tell them that If shes not my friend anymore, i'll have no friends but they wouldn't listen.
I dont think my best (and only) friend understands properly 'cause the new girl bribes her into liking her by giving her food and telling them how much she loves her pink bag (even though I over heard her saying to her sister that she hates pink and that 'awfull' bag her best friend has) , by singing the same song me and my best friend always sing and buying similar clothes to me and her(even though shes twice the size of me and my best friend-a sixteen while me and my best friend are size 6-8 in english sizes). Its also her copycat style that annoys me. Why does do this? does she think copying peoples clothes are gonna make them like her?

windrose
21.07.2006, 16:30
I think you are selling your best friend short. Perhaps she will be taken in by this new person for a short while but if she is half the person you think she is then it won't last long.

The most important thing to do is safeguard yourself by talking to a teacher that you can trust.

In the meantime, you've not lost *all* your friends. We're still here -- even if we are just words on a screen and not IRL. :)

<hugs Spicy>

Albus
21.07.2006, 16:39
I agree with Windrose; you still have us. :) Your friend IRL will come back, it will just seem like an entirety before they do.

Cobalt
21.07.2006, 18:37
Best of luck to you Spicy. I dealt with that for a long time when I was in school myself. I really wish there was some kind of wisdom that I could share with you that would make this stop. There's few things worse then not knowing where to turn in these cases.

All I can suggest is what windrose has said. *Cover yourself* Don't let yourself get dragged down by others around you for being fools.

I hope everything goes well for you, and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.

anything spicy
21.07.2006, 19:13
Thanks guys, it was only last year that I was being bullied in primary school by a different group of people. Mabyee its because im as what people call easy to pick on? I have allways been the quiet one who would read a book instead of playing sport. I am very sensitive and I cried after she soaked me. The thing that hurt me most was my best friend was laughing at me when it happend. When this kind of thing happens I go to the library (my sanctuary at school) but it was closed so I went to the toilets instead ( the next best thing- no-one ever goes there because they smell of bleach) .

Ever since I joined this forum, I have been happyer because it means there is something to look forward to when I go home-people to- talk to and something to do after my homework.

The Sonic God
22.07.2006, 00:50
Ahh, bullies. They exist to be nothing more than an annoyance. Everyone else pretty much explained it very well, but bullies in my opinion become the police's main target in the future. Bullies turn into antisocial numbskulls with no other purpose in life except to make the lives of others' worse.

I encountered a few hundred of them as I was growing up. Fighting back feeds them as you might have guessed. These creatures enjoy pain and suffering, so it's not a good idea to fall for their gimmicks. I should know. My little brother is a bully. He's also a drunkard and a known criminal here where I live. He spent most of his life in jail or prison whereas I've spent most of my life being educated. I don't see him changing anytime in the future.

So just know this. Don't do anything that they want you to do. Don't fight back. Just contact the authorities, make your complaint, and avoid them. And believe me, they will do everything they can to irritate and annoy you, and try to make themselves look better than you. But you know the truth. You know that you're better than them and you don't have to say anything.

I've grown up in a life of abuse as a child, a family with drinking and drug problems, depression, and of course, bullies. So I know well about these things. I deal with it all of the time. And curiously, even in IRC and messageboards.

Find someone of authority who you can trust who will protect you.

Let's hope it doesn't break out into a fight.

anything spicy
23.07.2006, 17:21
It is very hard to avoid this person because she follows me and my best friend everywhere, even the school toilets. But one good thing is, its the school holidays so she won't be arround.

The Sonic God
24.07.2006, 23:04
Originally posted by anything spicy
It is very hard to avoid this person because she follows me and my best friend everywhere, even the school toilets. But one good thing is, its the school holidays so she won't be arround.

Even in the restrooms? What the heck? Now's about the time to start seriously finding some authoritative help...

If a bully would ever follow me into the bathroom, I'd instantly leave and head straight to the Police Liaison's office.

anything spicy
25.07.2006, 08:56
I've started having nightmares about her aswell. Always the same one...
I walk into the classroom on the first day back. I walk over to Marnie to find the new girl with her. "Lets sit here" the new girl says to Marnie and Marnie follows. They sit on a table at the side-one with only enough room for two people-and leave me standing with no-one to sit next to. The teacher walks in and puts me at the back of the classroom on my own. After registration, the new girl walks up to me and says "now whos the best friend?" and she and Marnie walk of...
I woke up with a wet face and a damp pach on my pillow. I know it doesn't sound like much but It is to me. The thing that haunts me about the reoccouring dream is that it might happen.